Progress Updates

Good News, Bad News

Another week is done and I find myself still feeling down about my progress despite today’s weigh in being a “good news, bad news” situation. The good news is that I finally crossed the 10 pound barrier but the bad news is only barely. My weight is now 148.8 pounds so I am down a total of 10.2. I didn’t lose a full pound from last week to this week. I had one bad eating night and was not as good with my water intake this week as I should have been. But I exercised every day and despite stress at every turn (work stress, marriage stress, mom stress) I didn’t give in to my desire for bad food as much as I wanted to. I even resisted donuts provided to everyone in our office building by the property manager. I don’t know what else I can change about my eating or my exercise that will get the scale moving in a significant way again.

Back to the drawing board I guess…..

Progress Updates

Greetings from Guilt

First things first…the results of last week’s weigh in. Despite not meeting my calorie or water goals during my entire staycation week, thanks to daily exercise and not going completely off course with my food choices, I lost 1 pound. My weight is 149.2 pounds so I am down a grand total of 9.8 pounds. My measurements were all the same this week but still…weight loss is weight loss.

Tonight has been another story altogether. I ate well during the day, did a cardio workout and swam for an hour. Thanks to the stress of worrying about the pile of work that awaits me when I return to the office tomorrow and my 8 year old devolving into a brat with a capital B, I couldn’t resist the urge to stress eat. I ate tons of rotisserie chicken (including skin), a handful or oreos and a bunch of graham crackers. My stomach hurts and I am riddled with guilt. This is the first time since starting this new routine that I have totally caved and I hate myself for it.

Just Venting

Today Sucks

Today sucks…there is just no other way to look at it. I got out the door late which means I got stuck in traffic and had a choice to make. I had to choose between stopping off at Starbucks for my double espresso over ice or being on time for work. I chose being on time so I had to start my day a little less caffeinated than I would have liked. Bad decision.

During the course of my workday I was buried with multiple urgent priorities all needing my attention at the same time…payroll, benefits open enrollment, scheduling interviews for positions that need to be filled, etc. On top of that I had a nice little tiff via text with Ryan which always puts me in a fabulous mood. I have had a headache all day that won’t go away. It is about 300 degrees outside but about 30 degrees in my office. All of this stress means, I’m hungry. Not hungry for carrots but hungry for carrot cake. I am my number one saboteur when it comes to getting in shape. Between the stress of life and the stress of my anxiety, food is a great comforter. It makes you feel so good. Spicy food and chocolate both release the same endorphins as sex. In my life, it is so much easier to have a brownie or a spicy burrito than it is to have sex so I often choose the former. They say that exercise releases those same feel good chemicals but I haven’t reached that stage yet. Me and exercise are currently in the pain and agony stage of our relationship and I don’t mean the fun “50 Shades” kind of pain, I mean the “dear god someone kill me” kind of pain.

The sad thing is that I know the rest of the evening is going to get any better. I have to leave here, fight traffic, wrangle my kids from daycare, fight more traffic and go home. Once home, I will have 4 dinners to prepare (mine, Ryan’s, Aidan’s and Kaia’s), do dishes, do laundry, workout, wrangle the kids into baths and bed, bathe myself and probably end up in round 2 of the tiff with Ryan from earlier in the day.

Normally, if I didn’t give in to stress by eating it away, I would drown it in a bottle of white wine. But alas, I am giving up alcohol until I get this diet well underway.

It is going to be a looooooooong night….